Features3/10 How to Roll a Chron Blunt 2/23 Review- Kanye West "College Dropout" 1/25 Why do girls think their "shit don't stink?" pt. 2 1/16 Why do girls think their "shit don't stink?"-Vize
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May 26, 2004
It's summertime, and me and VIZE would update dis shit more often but we madd busy. We got alotta ideas tho, so expect dis site to get really tite whenever we're done drinkin smokin eating sleeping watchin porn and playin Halo. But yea, dis is Busta Rhymes at dis concert at UCSD last week. My gurl PEACHY CHICK wuz werkin it and wuz gonna get me in, but our cell's didnt get service 4rm out there. So wut did I do? I told security I wuz staff and went thru da exit. about 3 guards latez Im in eating funnel cake. This is da only pic I got of him tho. Why? Cuz I wuz fuckin surrounded by fuckin METRO-SEXUALS AND STUCK UP WHITE PEOPLE who wouldnt kno BUSTA RHYMES from COOLIO! Even da black people were either actin abercrombie or fuckin fags! Dis one dude wit a S-curl wit highlights wuz starin at me like a piece of meat! I wantd to fuckin slit da throats of everyone there and PISS IN EM! UCSD makes SDSU look less excruciating. Neway, happy b-day to da homie BRAIN aka D-FAULT, although I couldve sworn it wuz in June. Im out. -Shrapnl
April 12, 2004
Peter Cornelius "Pedophile Pete" Walker 1959-2006 This is Peter Cornelius Walker. You may remember him as "Pedophile Pete," the rambuncious cowboy prowrestler from the World Wrestling Federation from 1985-1988. A Harvard graduate, Pedophile Pete achieved notariety when he defeated Bob Backlaund in 1986 for the World Heavyweight Championship Belt (a record time for an amatuer). Even being an undefeated wrestler, Pedophile Pete was never a fan-favorite. Be it because of his often criticized ceremony of snatching a random, ripe virgin from the audience and popping her/his cherry in front of the booing crowd upon entering the ring to the tune of "Like a Virgin," or his tendency to litter, Pedophile Pete was one of the most despised professional wrestlers in the field. Nonetheless, Pedophile Pete has a number of endorsements to his name: A popular arcade game called "Abduction Suction" (Sega); a rap album titled "Pedophile Pete Don't Hurt 'Em" featuring the #1 single "Can Touch This"; and last but not least, a Saturday morning cartoon called "The P-Team" (the P is for "Penis"). Pedophile Pete's Behind-the-Music-like fall from grace began in 1988, when Pedophile Pete was dishonorably discharged from the WWF after the owner, Ed McMahon, discovered Pedophile Pete had defiled his budding preteen daughter. Pedophile Pete's reply to the accusations was "Either she goes or I go!" Pedophile Pete never fully rebounded from "The Peter Walker Scandal." All of his contracts with his sponsers fell through, his mansion in Maui was auctioned, and Pedophile Pete went into seclusion. This is the first sighting of Pedophile Pete since 1995. When I asked him what he was doing with the umbrella, he replied he was going to building a raft. He got the idea from a movie he saw called "Castaway." Pedophile Pete is 45 years old, and will probably die in a year or so. For those who really don't remember Pedophile Pete, I have put together a tribute honoring his life. This is for you Pete! -Shrapnl March 14, 2004
TOES ON THE NOSE BROS! Spring Break 4 Vize came and went and we got pictures of Vize's week of sex, drugs and debauchery! Daytona, Cancun... NUTHIN'S GOT NETHIN ON VIZE'S SPRING BREAK, BITCHES! -Shrapnl March 10, 2004
We've got a helluva treat 4 all ya'll! 4 da 1st time in CA2GA history u get SHRAPNL AND VIZE COMIN ATCHA. We at CA2GA felt we hadto provide this PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, cuz we alwayz havta give back to da community, y'kno? SO here yall go, HOW TO ROLL A CHRON BLUNT and SMOKIN PARTNA. -Shrapnl/Vize February 23, 2004 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SUP HOMIES! Havent been able to update dis shit in a hott one cuz of all dis college shit. I have 3 essays and 2 exams dis week, and its only gonna get better. Im just lookin 4ward to SPRING BREAK when da homie VIZE comes back home to DAYGO. U dont understand- when Vize comes back, everybody kicks it. SHROOM, JULZ and JD kno wut im talkin bout. Neway, wut have I been upto? well 2 weeks ago me and da homie went to da KANYE WEST concert in LA at da el rey theatre. So we roll up there, I rockin my blue SD cap cocked, feeling bold as fuck and ready 4 nething. We go in, theres dis chick wit braids eyeing me, and she straight walks up and sits rite on my lap! I didnt mind... but her homie wuz da freak. I call her NO PANTIES cuz... she wuz wearin NO PANTIES. She lookd at least 25, lookd like NAOMI CAMPBELL and wuz orderin drink after drink like a pro. I think she wuz doin BLOW to, cuz she kept screamin after her friend 4 her car keys like a fiend, and lookd like she wuz snortin sumthin out her purse. No matter, bitch wuz grindin on me and her skirt kept fallin off, tryin to get me to look, as if ASS CRACK wuz ever sexy or sumthin. But then she wuz on crack.. get it? Ahhh STFU. I wuz tryna talk to her LUCY LIU lookin friend neway. Ohhh yea, about da show- SHIT WUZ OFF DA CHAIN! Kanye performed every song on da CD and even did versions of song he produced like Talib's "Get By" and Alicia Key's "U Dont Know My Name." Neway when da show wuz supposta end, COMMON comes out as a surprise and since da record kept skippin and da speakers werent werkin so Common and Kanye freestyle'd while dude on da keyboard provided da beat. SHIT WUZ HARD. U wanna kno more, I did a quik review of Kanye's CD "College Dropout."Last weekend me and da homies went to c da movie CITY OF GOD. Ive been lookin 4ward to seein dis flick 4 a hott one and never thought it wuz ever comin to da states, but since it got so many damn oscar noms they slapped subtitles on it and shipped it over 4rm Brazil. City of God is based on da tru story bout a drug war in the slums of Brazil that took place in da 70s, and a kid who's tryna escape da slums to become a photographer. Shits so fuckin violent and shocking. It ranks high among my fav movies next to FIGHT CLUB and BATTLE ROYALE. I wanna cop da dvd so fuckin badly, but shit's $50 on ebay and da US release dont come out til June. Ima get it tho, just watch. By da way, register 4 da forums. Its FREE, I swear! -Shrapnl February 14, 2004
Paris Hilton is at it again! This is the newest video of this soon-to-be porn star, it's just a matter of time before she gets a full-fledged contract. Click on the hoe's face to watch her skill in the art of dick sucking, or right click to save on your hard drive! -Vize February 12, 2004 Last night was the scariest night of my life, when it could've ended by just pullin' the fuckin' trigger. Last night my roommate, me, and my homeboy Troy were high as a ma'fucka. We decided to walk down the street from my college to the ghetto, soul food place that's called Steagles. While walking across the street from my college with our food, almost back on campus, a car almost hits me while I'm walking on the street right next to the curb. So as I jump back startled I'm like "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Then I see the car turn around the curb in front of us and then went out of sight because we were at an angle to only see the car turn for like 2 seconds. About 12 seconds later 2 niggas approach us from the same way that the car would've parked and both pull out a gun like, "YO GIMME ALL YO SHIT!!" I'm like, "OH SHIT!" and drop my Steagles food and drink and take off runnin' into the middle of the street in a zig zag motion scared as shit. My homeboy Troy fell to the ground and when he sprung back up had a 45 cal. pointed right at his eye. My roommate tried to run but almost hit a car, and when he stopped the other nigga came up behind him and had his gun to his head like, "GIMME YO WALLET NOW" I'm runnin' back to my fuckin' dorm lookin' for the god damn cops that were nowhere to be found, while my niggas was down there about to get shot for their clothes and money. About 5 minutes later they come back to the dorm exhausted like "Dawg they got us for our wallets, shoes, sweaters, and keys." Niggas are so ignorant nowadays that I wouldn't be surprised if the gun wasn't loaded, or even if it was. They were gonna risk prison time for a total of $100 in merchandise (not including the wallets with credit and debit cards that were cancelled the same exact night, so they got nothin' out of it). This is why I don't feel sorry for these motha fuckas out here in West End, Atlanta. They're nothin' but punk ass bitches that can't get shit on their own so they try n jack it from niggas who do have shit. And to the ma'fuckas criticizin like, "Why did Vize just dip out on his homies like that, what a bitch." FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOTHA FUCKIN MOMMA BITCH YOU WOULDA DONE THE SAME EXACT SHIT IF YO LIFE WAS ON THE LINE, SUCK MY DICK. -Vize February 9, 2004
Benjamin Andre (right) wearing wut appears to be ROBOCOP shades, a red apron and a CHER WIG. So da Grammys were on Sunday nite or sumthin. There wuz only one performance I wuz waitin 4 da entire time– Benjamin Andra aka Andre 3000. Outkast has been my favorite hip hop group ever since “Due Time” 4rm da Soul Food soundtrack and Dre has been my all-time favorite rapper ever since his verse in “Rosa Parks” on Aquemeni. HE ALWAYZ CAME HARD spittin fire like “You got to give a damn if you do not give a fuck!” (Borrowed by Youngbloodz for “Damn”) and conscious rhymes like “Why vote, da president will be a smart guy, datz like choosin’ which bullet you gone get shot by!” and I’ve been quote da nigga ever since, so when Dre’s latest CD mainly has him singing, it didnt take me by surprise. Ne Outkast fanatic knows he’s been tryin to sing since “Stankonia.” So yea, da guy is also a lil weird: His wardrobe 4 da “Rosa Parks” video wuz a fisher’s hat and some football pads, and recently at da VH1 awards show she wuz wearing some pepto-bismo pink feather shit, and correct me if Im wrong... SKI BOOTS!? WUT PART OF DA GAME IS DAT! But fuck dat, he’s tite so there aint nuthin he can throw at me dat can make me flip out and steam-roll my CDs. Thruout da Grammies, they keep promising me and promising me da Dre is gonna perform. In fact, I thought he wuz gonna perform rite after Big Boi did, but after Earth Wind and Fire, George Clinton and the Parliament, and “Sumthin” da Family Band, I knew he wuznt comin out, but they kept sayin he wuz gonna come out. So da time comes when they supposta announce album of da yr, and I dunno wut happen, I WUZ KNOCKD OUT! I fell asleep. Next morning Im watchin da news or good morning Amedica hopin to see sumthin bout da Grammies and Dre or wutever, and they show a clip of Dre dress up as a green INDIAN (oh wait, I mean Ambassador Montezuma), feather and all. They were even makin fun of em sayin dat he wuz wearin Jlo’s titty dress around his waist. FUCK DAWG, I CAN ONLY SPEAK UP 4 U SOO MUCH! When Im on da street, and a nigga goes “Hey Shrap, sup wit ur nigga Ice Cold 3000?” WUT AM I SUPPOSTA SAY? “Oh, Dre? I like a man who is in touch wit his Native American Feminine side!” Im sorry dawg, UR ON UR OWN! - Crooked letta-H-RAP-NL February 7, 2004 After my colleague and I put some thought into it, we decided why the fuck not have a chat room where everyone From CA2GA could get together and see what's crackin! -Vize February 3, 2004 I dunno if yall kno but I werk at a discount college text bookstore. I usually werk on campus, but 2day I werkd at da Mesa College location and I met one of da most colorful peeps I met since last I werkd at da El Cajon Target. His name is Jackie. Not really, I just call him that except he looks exactly like Jackie Chan except older (which says a lot cuz Jackie Chan is like 50 sumthin and dis guy is in his mid-thirties) and he has shorter hair. I was doing da bag-check shit, so they had my ass outside in da fuckin cold 4 7 hrs. Neway, it was like 7:00 when Jackie pulls up, introduces himself and just talks 4 45 minutes straight! Da convo looked sumthin like dis... talk amongst urselves - Shrapnl February 1, 2004
THE SUPER BOWL! Damn, I was relying on the under dogs to pull this one out! FUCK, WHY DO THE BEST TEAMS ALWAYS WIN? Hehe. Anyway, although the super bowl outcome wasn't to my liking, there were a couple of GREAT things that happened. It turns out that Justin is paying Janet back for dumpin' his ass, HAHA! Click on the picture for the 3 second video clip of this funny ass event (you need the DivX codec for it to work, download from www.divx.com). Also, was it just me or did anyone else see the streaker in the middle of the field right before the halftime kickoff? I heard he posed as a referee and might be the same fool who streaked during all those EuroSoccer games. -Vize Also... Get a load of dis shit! "I am sorry that anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance of the Super Bowl," Timberlake said in a statement. "It was not intentional and is regrettable. (ESPN.COM)" OOK DAWG! U really didn't reach over and tear her shit off and Janet really didn't kno u were bouta do dat shit, homie. After u revealed da titty dat wuz conveniently decorated wit a festive nipple ring u didn't really continue da song which aptly ends "Ima have u naked by the end of this song (as da homie Julz pointed out). " And ur right Justin, da halftime show wasn't produced by M fuckin TV dawg. Ok erbody, i need yall opinions. Look at da beautiful pic Vize posted and d/l da video and tell me whether Justin and Janet planned dis shit, it was an accident, or whether u dont fuckin care and u think Justin Timberlake should be skull-fucked wit an exhaust pipe.
-Shrapnl
Aight, so I’m on campus… wait I c dis hott chick… Ok. See, dis is why I don’t study on campus cuz every 5 seconds another bangin’ female walks by and I’m set back another
5 minutes. Neway, So I’m on campus in
da East Commons food court eating 2 mad
cows and reading dis Complex magazine when this sickly lookin white gurl
comes up to my table. This surprised me cuz she had been sittin at da table
across 4rm me eatin sumthin 4 like 45 minutes and never even look at
her. She goes, “Excuse me… You should really consider modeling
because you are the most BEAUTIFUL guy I’ve seen on campus.”
WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mouth still full of
paralyzing-paddy I’m like, “Thanks. {chew, chew gurgle} I appreciate
it.” Then she simply turns around, and without looking back once,
leaves East Commons. I mean… fuck dat
wuz weird, but I GUARANTEE after I got
done eatin I was walkin around campus smiling 4rm ear 2 ear like
my SHIT DON’T STANK! -Shrapnl
January 28, 2004
Ahh, the good ol' ATL. This the most
recent party we had at -Vize January 26, 2004 Don't you just hate those fuckin birth control commercials with bitches running around the beach in silk robes chasing butterflies, wading their feet in waterfalls and picking flowers? C'mon now, u kno dat shit is aimed at dirty hoes who fuck around so much that they need a choice between wut to swallow b4 they swallow dick butter! AND ANOTHER THING, I should talk bout dis in da REALITY SHOWS FORUM, but as long as we're talkin bout dirty hoes, wut da fuck is wrong wit TV dat people r watchin ugly bitches like PARIS HILTON and NICOLE RICHIE run amok in hick town? 1st of all, Paris looks more sickly than one of them runway hoes. Bet she got her stomach tied just in case she changed her mind bout vomiting her cavier (datz da richest food I could think of). Only reason she so famous is cuz da money and da video, and da video is trash; its like watchin a broomstick get hit 4rm behind in da dark wit Muhammad Ali werkin da camera and da flashlight. Dont get me started on Nicole Richie/Ferret girl. Im out.
- Shrapnl... AND WUT!
January 23, 2004
Pretty seamless huh? I just wanted da Decepticons logo to be on fire. Who else thinks datz fuckin HARD? - Shrapnl January 19, 2004 Well, I assume everyone here saw the bullshit outcome of the playoffs this past weekend. It was obvious that the Patriots were going to win, but I thought the Colts would at least attempt to go out with a fight. The Patriots just dominated the whole game from the beginning! Who said Manning was a good quarterback? Pfft! The Eagles game, OH MY GOD, what the fuck were they thinking?! You have pussy ass McNabb who takes himself out of the game because his sorry little ribs hurt. WHY ARE YOU EVEN PLAYING FOOTBALL, PUSSY! I really think the real reason why he took himself out of the game was because he knew that he couldn't do shit against the Carolina defense; he couldn't even get 6 points on the board for his team! I always thought the Eagles were never a great team, but I still had confidence that they would beat the fucking PANTHERS! Now this Super Bowl is going to be the shittiest one in history, I'm going for the Patriots by 20. P.S. - Visit the forums! -Vize January 17, 2004 "To all my niggaz who been shitted on,
let's get it on Yea, dis is a lil of da Hell i live everyday for da rest of my life. Da shit I wrote aint as disrespectful to bitches as my homie's previous entry, but hey... I'M JUST GETTIN STARTED! -Shrapnl January 16, 2004 - Why do girls think their "shit don't stink" ? Let's start it off, right, shall we? I get so mad sometimes when I see men attempt to get at females that, today, I was fed up! After what happened earlier I just had to speak out, so check out this article I wrote here! -Vize January 15, 2004 - The Beginning
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the Ramada Inn. Notice all the fuckin hats you see
everywhere?! I thought hats were supposed to be worn in the sunny
type of atmosphere(CALI!). Needless to say, my homeboy from
Morehouse, Cameron, brought his digital camera which proved to be
useful as a ma'fucka! He got some nice pictures of females and some
of the shit that happened at this function that I will post later
today, once I sort through all 40 of them. 
